Using Foul Language by Rabbi David Bassous

Have you ever sat by someone on the train or subway either talking on the phone or to someone else and just spewing out four letter words, I have. It’s pretty hard to sit through this kind of abuse for an hour, so thank G-d for noise-cancelling headphones.

In the beginning of the Torah portion of Kedoshim (Leviticus 19:20) we read an enigmatic instruction: ‘Kedoshim tihiyu – Be holy.’ This is different from the many other commandments before and after, which pertain to specific matters such as marital and ritual purity. The sages in the Sifri explain that the Hebrew word kadosh, which is normally translated as “holy,” actually means to be “distinct” or “separate.” Thus, these words are actually a commandment to separate ourselves.

The great Biblical commentator Rashi states that holiness is a direct consequence of not transgressing the prior sexual and moral prohibitions.

However Ramban – Nachmanides, states that this injunction of being holy includes not using disgusting speech, something that is not specifically prohibited in the Torah. Torah demands that a person go beyond the parameters it sets and live a life that is truly distinguished and uplifting. Using bad language can make a fine person into a crude one.

The Talmud Ketubot 8b speaks very harshly about someone who speaks in a vulgar way. “Whoever uses foul language even if there was a decree on them for seventy good years it will be changed into an evil decree.”

Rabenu Yonah in Shaarei Teshuvah states that using foul language runs against two of the fundamental character traits that we try to instill into ourselves: modesty and sensitivity.

Rambam – Maimonides states that the reason Hebrew is called a Holy Language is precisely because of its paucity of foul words.

Although we generally think of speech as just a superficial act, in truth, it has a strong impact on one’s inner self. The words that leave one’s mouth make an imprint on the mind and heart. No matter how fine and noble a character, a few rotten words can defile and corrupt a person. The flip side is also true. A crude person can become more refined if he or she improves the way he/she speaks. This is why shemirat halashon, “guarding one’s tongue,” is considered one of the first steps that need to be taken before correcting more serious character flaws.

Being careful that all words that leave ones mouth are holy is an important part of a living a “holy” life.

Do you feel free? Post Passover Thoughts by Rabbi David Bassous

Do you feel free?  Post Passover Thoughts by Rabbi David Bassous

After Passover, the festival of freedom, the question resonates in my head.  Do you feel free?

Is anyone truly free?  Can anyone be completely free?  What do we mean by freedom?

The only free person is a tramp without any responsibilities.

At Passover seder we toast the Almighty with four cups of wine corresponding to the four languages of redemption used by the bible to describe our God-given freedom from bondage in Egypt.

If there are four kinds of freedom there must be four kinds of slavery:

1. Physical slavery – to redeem captives is one of the greatest mitzvot, the Torah starts with the concept of the universality of man.  Every human being was created in the Divine image therefore slavery is abhorrent.  The divine free of the Israelites slaves from Egypt should be seen as the prototype for the emancipation of all slaves.
2. Spiritual slavery: The Torah prohibits all kinds of superstitions practices, divination, astrological predictions, sooth-saying and magic.  These things are kinds of spiritual slavery, a person who is superstitious is trapped in a spiritual web of different imaginary forces.
3. Emotional slavery: we all have emotional (irrational) attachments to various things.  Emotional attachment is the key to strong family bonding however too much attachment could lead to co-dependency and could be destructive.  The Torah emphasizes that a person should leave his parents and cling to his spouse.  Break the emotional ties of one’s youth and evolve to the next stage.  Emotional freedom gives the person control over their attachments.
4. Mental slavery: Habit is a form of mental slavery.  We’re all creatures of habit.  When the brain gets accustomed to thinking along a certain path, after a while a person is unable to do anything else. Addictions, phobias, OCD are probably the worst form of mental slavery.

The Israelites were physically free.  They were taken out of Egypt, however mentally they do not have the self-confidence to enter the land of Canaan and develop their own future as a people.  The irony of the Passover story is that a whole generation of males who exited Egypt did not survive, with a few exceptions, to fulfill the dream of entering Israel.  Although they were now physically free, mentally they still perceived themselves as slaves, unable to forge their own destinies. Emotionally they were still attached to Egypt and spiritually they did not have enough faith in God to go it alone. Only their next generation could develop and be truly free.

Physical slavery is the easiest to liberate.  The chains of other types of bondage can be much harder to break.

Has Passover liberated you?

An Idea for the Seder

We all know that four children are mentioned in the seder.  And we normally think about them as four different individuals: the wise; the wicked; the simple and the ignorant.  All of us in our lives go through different phases so these four different children could very well be describing one person not necessarily a child but even an adult going through four different phases in life.

Like travelling on an escalator everyone is always moving: some are growing in knowledge and observance; and some unfortunately go down the other way.  The haggadah maps the phases of growth that go something like this:

1. Eyno Yodea Lishal – Does not know how to ask – A child is born and does not know how to speak and when he or she eventually learns how to talk their ability to ask pertinent questions is limited and it is up to the mother to teach the child how and what to ask.

2. Tam. – Simple – a child who has developed somewhat and knows how to ask simple questions.

3. Rasha – Rebellious – Now that the child is grown and reached the adolescent rebellious teen years he or she may rebel against the values and morality that have been taught.

4. Chacham – Wise – Finally the individual is able to digest: all the information that has been given to him or her and will use it to advance their lives and reconnect with their heritage and continue living and growing.